Birth, Death, Love and Babies
by Chelsea Oz
Summary: A multi-chapter on the stories of the Malone babies. This picks up where "Diane Came Home" left off and where the story of "You're Still The One" originates. Each chapter will be centered around the birth of a baby and a few special chapters that will go further into detail on the death of Maria. I hope you will enjoy! It's complete! Lyrics no longer available, more insight.
1. Chapter 1

The Halloween chill was casting a foggy haze over Boston, Massachusettes. A person couldn't have asked for better, spookier weather on this hallow's eve. Through the mist, one could still see the bright orange and yellow leaves fallen onto the city streets via streetlight. The candlelit candles made the jack-o-lanterns smile a toothless "Hello" as you walked by. Witches, vampires and ghosts of all shapes and sizes turned up on the streets and into shadows cast by the moonlight. Howls and laughter and the familiar yells of children's "Trick or Treat!" rang through the night. In the immortal words of Dracula, what beautiful music they made.

Sam Malone took it all in as he held his newborn son Spencer up to the hospital window. It was Diane's request. She said that in European cultures that a new mom should bathe their newborn into light. It may have been on the superstitious side but Diane thought it was a beautiful idea. Sam really didn't know about that but anything to keep the peace in this blissful state. As the moon cast it's spotlight onto baby Spencer, his eyes fluttered open. His mouth gaped a little at the sight and sounds of everything outside.

"Hey, Diane," he says looking back at his wife. "He's just like you. He doesn't miss a thing!"

"Sam Malone," Diane says with smile. "After all we've just been through, you pick now to start ribbing me?"

"God, this kid is something," he replies as he walks back to the side of Diane's bed. "I've only known him a few minutes but I love this guy more than anything I've known in my lifetime."

"He's pretty special," Diane says as she begins to rub Spencer's sweet baby cheeks.

"Well, when I said that, I should say almost," he ends with a sweet, surprise kiss on the lips for his wife and now the mother of his son.

"I love you, Sam Malone."

"I love you, Diane Chambers."

"I'll love you even more if you let me hold my baby," she says with outstretchd arms. Sam can only oblige as he hands him over to her.

"Hello, beautiful boy," she says smiling at her son. "I'm your mother. Daddy and mummy will take good care of you."

That was when Spencer let out a little coo. Diane and Sam shared surprised looks and elated smiles. Their boy was so smart and special already.

"You're so smart," Sam says rubbing his baby's tummy. "I told you so, Diane, just like you."

"I have such good boys," Diane says with kisses on both her boy's cheeks.

"Hey, speaking of the boys..."

"Yes," Diane says with a not-so-annoyed eye roll. "Go ahead. Call the bar and tell everyone the news."

Sam readily jumps up and picks up the reciever as he dials Cheers' number. He couldn't wait to tell them that their big man had a little man. Diane couldn't wait either because she wanted him to hold the phone up to her ear too.

"Cheers," Carla answers.

"Hey, honey."

"What is it, Sam? What is it?" Carla was as giddy as a schoolgirl.

"It's a little devil," Sam laughed as he knew this would tick the superstitious and anxious Carla off.

"Hey, I'm pregnant, don't do this to me!"

"It's a boy."

"Oh my God! Hey everybody, weanie and the beast just had a baby boy!"

"Sammy! Sammy! Sammy!" Came the spirited chants of everyone at the bar. Sam had such a look of pride and was pumping the phone in the air with each name chant. Diane could only look at her proud husband and giggle.

"Don't worry, Diane," Woody's voice had come through over the line. "We love you, too."

"Diane! Diane! Diane!" Came the next round of spirited shouts from the phone.

"I love you guys!" Diane exclaims into the phone as Sammy puts the reciever down. Sammy is still reeling with laughter from that epic moment while Diane's eyes fill up with fresh tears. She put her hand to her heart as she watched Spencer drift off to sleep.

"I never thought I would feel love in such a multitude at one time."


	2. Ernie

The first eight weeks after Spencer's arrival had passed all too quickly. Diane enjoyed spending all day and night with her baby. Whenever Spencer was hungry and ready to be fed was Diane's favorite time of the day. She found a love for breastfeeding. There was something about being able to feed her son directly from her that made Diane feel powerful. She always thought that women were magical and now that she was a mother, she knew it. When he was full, Diane would cradle him while rubbing his sweet little cheeks. He loved it when she did that. He would look up at her as if he was smiling at her and flutter his eyes. Both Sam and Diane got a huge kick out of that. He was such an animated little bugger already!

Diane was back at Cheers once New Year's came and went. It was perfect timing for everyone at the bar because not even a full week after Diane's arrival did Carla go into labor. Of course everyone was as elated with Jesse and Elvis LeBec's arrivals as they were with Spencer Malone's.

"My gosh," Diane said out loud. "Eight children she has! What a woman. I can't imagine having more than one at this time."

Little did she know how soon she was going to have to get used to the idea. The doctor finally gave Sam and Diane the okay to have sex again at around Christmastime. Sam couldn't have thought of a better gift to his wife than a ride on Sammy's sleigh on Christmas. Diane was speaking his language as she had been waiting to wrap his package. It was one of the most wonderful Christmas nights for the both of them. It was a mere memory that made Diane cringe by the second week of January. She started to feel sick every morning and then she would feel incredibly lethargic.

"Oh no," she said out loud to herself one day. "I can't be, I just can't be."

That was the day she mustered up her courage and walked down the street from the bar to the drugstore. She got the same handy-dandy home test kit that had proven positive for Spencer. As the cashier was checking her out, she silently prayed for not so positive news this time. She felt bad about wishing that, though. She loved her baby and what if she was carrying? She would certainly feel bad about that first thought of her second child was being that of an unwanted. The thought made Diane cry all the way back to the bar.

"Sweetheart," Sam said running to her when she walked in the bar. "Are you okay?"

"Come with me," Diane managed to say while taking Sam by the hand and leading him to the ladies room.

"Diane, why are you taking me here? Please, don't bring me in here. Can't you tell me what's wrong?"

"Lock the door."

"Diane, what's the..."

"Lock the door, I said!"

"Okay, okay," he says locking the door behind them. "What is it."

That was when she pulled the kit out of the bag. Sam stood there with a gaped mouth. Could she really be pregnant again so suddenly? Only time would tell. Ten minutes to be exact. They both paced the floor hand in hand as they waited for what seemed like an eternity. They walked back to the stall to find two bright pink, positive signs waiting for them when they got there. Diane broke down and sobbed into Sam's arms. She was not ready for this.

"It's going to be okay, Sweetheart," Sam said as he cradled her. "Hey, we're going to have more to love."

"Spencer isn't even near six months, Sam," she said in between sobs. "I don't think my body can handle this."

"You know, Coach used to say the God never gave anyone more than they could handle."

"When did he say that?"

"Right before he passed away, actually..."

"Oh, Sam," she said burying her face into his shoulder once again.

"Listen to me," he said lifting her face to his with his hands. "He said that when I was brokenhearted over your move to Europe. I think you know what happened, huh."

That made her smile a little. She managed to give Sam a little peck on the lips. Everyone knew that Coach was nowhere near a Mensa member, but once in a while he would say or do something so profound you couldn't believe it came from him and he would always prove himself right. This time around, he would do so in death. Diane felt as if Coach was coaching her from heaven during this pregnancy and when her second son was born that September on the twenty-seventh, it was only fitting that the boy have his name. Ernest "Ernie" Samuel Malone had arrived.


	3. Maria

Two years had gone by and Diane Malone found herself once again in a maternity ward cradling a new babe in her arms. When she found out of her third pregnancy, she silently prayed everyday for a baby girl. Of course, she also prayed for her baby's health but oh how nice it would be if she had a daughter. A girl who enjoyed make believe tea parties, pretty dresses, and model an epic-yet-demure french twist. Little did she know that Sam had found himself praying the same. He was proud as punch to be a father to not one but two boys. Two boys that could run a marathon, pack a punch, and throw the ball around all afternoon. Yet, he dreamed of one day when he could pick up his little girl in his arms and dance with her around the living room. Of those future nights where he could warn his beautiful teenage daughter of teenage boys and subsequent men who used to be just like him. They both got their wish on this blustery Valentine's Day.

"She looks so...different..." Sam says studying his newborn daughter.

"I know. The boys were so fair looking and she's so...exotic," Diane says sharing into the confusion.

"I can't believe that full head of dark hair she has," Sam says as he admiringly runs his fingers through her hair. Baby girl lets out a pleasant yawn and Diane kisses her cheek.

"She's so beautiful," Diane says rubbing her sweet little cheeks just like she'd done with Spencer and Ernie before her. They didn't know what it was about a cheek rub but it was like a love spell with all their children.

"What are we going to name her?"

"I don't know," Diane admits. "I had no trouble naming the boys but I honestly can't think of any girl's names for our angel."

"What about something simple like Mary?"

"I like your idea," Diane says staring hard at her daughter. "I think she's too exotic looking to be just plain old Mary though. What about Marie? It's the French version of Mary."

"Maria?"

"Maria?"

It seemed by that time the little girl had decided what her name would be. She let out a little coo of what sounded like approval.

"Hey," Sam says gently shaking his baby girls tiny hands. "She likes it."

"Would you like your name to be Maria, baby?" Diane asks her in all seriousness. That was when the baby grabbed Diane's hair and yanked on it. Sam laughed as Diane gently pulled her baby's hand away. She had quite a grip. Diane begins to wonder if she's letting them know she's going to be a tomboy after all.

"She's Maria," Diane finally decides.

"How about Maria Anna Malone?"

"How about me telling you I think that's perfect?" Diane asks giving her husband a kiss. Their kiss was cut all too short by a sudden knock on the door.

"Daddy, we wanna come in!" Spencer called from the keyhole.

"Yeah," Ernie called after him.

"They were so excited they couldn't stand it, Sammy," said Carla.

"Okay, come in boys," Sam says. The door swings open in a flash as the boys run in the room like a couple of thunderbolts. Carla, who just happened to be their babysitter during Diane's hospital stay, was not far behind them.

"Oh, she's beautiful," Carla says with a smile.

"She cute, Mommy," Ernie says laying next to his sister and mother.

"What's her name?" Spencer asks while snuggling in between Sam and Diane.

"Her name is Maria Anna," Diane replies.

"I love you, Maria!" Ernie exclaims with a big smooch for his sister.

"Awwwh!" Exclaim all three adults.

"I love her too but I'm not kissing her!" Spencer says matter-of-factly.

"Oh, come on, son," Sam says with a chuckle and a playful punch on his son's arm.

"Oh, okay," Spencer says giving in and giving his sister a kiss.

"You two are so lucky," Carla says, still looking on. "I wish my kids were like that with each other."

Diane and Sam looked down on their sons and daughter and realized how right Carla was. They were lucky and they could only hope that their luck kept rolling in.


	4. Elizabeth

It would be another four and a half years before Sam and Diane would be shocked by yet another pregnancy. The first four of Maria's life kept them busy enough. She was definitely their wild child. She was running as soon as she could walk, voicing opinions and asking questions as soon as she could talk and beating the her brothers at every sport as soon as she was big enough to pick up a baseball bat and throw a ball.

Maria's high-spirited nature never made Sam blink one time. He thought she was great and always got a kick out of whatever else she would find herself able to do. It was an amicable admiration; she adored her father. Almost every night after a bath or after a swim in the ocean at their vacation house Sam would live out his father-daughter fantasy. Sam would get an oldies station on the radio going and Maria would run out to the family room giggling because she knew what that meant. She would leap into her father's open arms, wrap her little legs around his torso and he would dance with her around the room. It was always their special moment.

Diane was another story when it came to her daughter. She knew she loved her daughter very much, how could she not? There was however some distance when it came to Maria. Maybe, she thought, because she was a tomboy? Was it disappointment that she didn't enjoy all the girly activities that Diane had hoped she would? She didn't understand why she didn't feel close to Maria and the fact killed her on the inside. She never told anyone including Sam how she felt because she felt like a terrible person simply knowing this by herself let alone letting anyone else in. She was thankful for her baby boy, Ernie. Even though he was male, it was he who Diane felt the most connection with. Funny how the one who Diane dreaded the thought of coming so soon was the one who made her feel better about mothering. He would do arts and crafts with her, read along with her, and loved to sneak in a quick snuggle whenever possible.

Big boy Spencer was the ying and yang that balanced out his brother and sister. He could rough-house with Maria and go back to coloring with Ernie. Read a chapter from **Charlotte's Web** with his mother and then go play catch his father. Sam and Diane couldn't have been more at ease with one kid then it was with Spencer.

On Ernie's eighth birthday, Diane gave birth to another baby girl. Diane secretly hoped that since this baby girl was born on Ernie's day that she would feel closer to this one that she'd had with Maria.

"I think I know what to name her this time," Diane stated. "I want to name her Elizabeth Emily after Elizabeth Barrett Browning and Emily Dickinson. They are my favorite female poets."

"That's pretty," Sam said while scooping up his second daughter in his arms. "Hi, Elizabeth. Mama gave you a pretty name because you're such a pretty girl," he told her with a seal of approval kiss on her cheek.

"You're so good with our daughters," Diane remarked.

"I thought I loved women, then I met you and then I knew I loved you and now I know how much I love baby girls."

"You amaze me," she said tugging at his shirt to bring him closer to her. "I couldn't have said that better about my boys."

"Were we made for each other or what?"

"We are," Diane agreed with a kiss. Sam gave Elizabeth back to her and she let out a heavy sigh.

"You okay, Sweetheart?"

"Yeah. I just realized how truly blessed we are, Sam. I never want anything negative coming in and ruining our little family unit."

"What makes you think it will?"

"I guess I'm just being silly," she said through a flood of tears.

"Hey, everything's going to be okay, Sweetheart," he said putting his hand on her shoulder. "I promise you."

"Okay."


	5. Maria's Nightmare

Around the time of Elizabeth's birth would have been the time Sam and Diane had shut down their summer vacation home for the winter. Yet, Boston was having such hot weather that they both figured the whole family would benefit being by the water and beach for relief. It had been like that all the way through what was now October. To Diane anyway, it seemed as if the univerese was telling her to keep her family here and Diane was willing to listen to whatever she felt mother nature, or God, or whomever, was trying to tell her.

The Friday night before Diane and Sam's anniversary weekend was a typical one. Sam would be at the bar all night which meant it was just Diane home with all four children now. Diane never did mind these nights. She was able to lie in bed with either a good book or her own thoughts. She was a full-time stay-at-home mom by now and she wouldn't want it any other way. It was funny looking back as she used to think she could never do that. She once had too many aspirations and goals to let baby rearing slow her down. She wanted to heal the world and now she only wanted to be there to heal her children. Everything she did in life was not for herself anymore but for Spencer, Ernie, Maria and now Elizabeth. It felt so good to let all that selfishness she had inside of her involuntarily slip away with the years that rolled by.

Time was something that got her in awe the most. Spencer was going on nine while Ernie had just turned eight. They were in the third and second grades now, respectively. Maria was five years old and had just started kindergarten. All three of them were thriving in school which delighted Sam and especially Diane to no end. They were so big and seemed so independent now.

"Where did that time go?" She asked out loud. She rolls over to see her newest little peanut in the bassinet next to her bed. Elizabeth was peacefully asleep and looked like the little angel baby that she was.

"You better stay a baby," Diane says as she gets out of bed and goes over to Elizabeth to give her a kiss. "I don't know what I'm going to do when you guys really stop being babies."

That was when she decided to go around the house and check on her other children. Down the hall and second door on the right was the boy's room. Spencer and Ernie were very close and loved sharing a room. It was perfect seeing as their was only three bedrooms in the vacation house, anyway. They were both blissfully sleeping away.

"I love you, boys," Diane says quietly as she closes the door behind her and makes her way into Maria's room. She heard something strange as soon as she got there. She opened the door to realize her daughter was whimpering; she had been crying.

"Baby," Diane says rushing to her side. She obviously was having a bad dream. "Wake up, honey, you're okay."

"Mommy?" Maria asks through her tears.

"Yes, baby, mommy's here," Diane said rubbing her cheeks.

"The monster got me that time!"

"What monster?"

"The one that lives in the water," Maria begins to tell her mother. She finally opens her eyes and turns to talk. She knows she's safe now. "He tries to come up and get me sometimes but I usually beat him. But not this time!"

That was when she burst out into fresh tears and flung her arms around Diane's neck.

"Oh, baby," Diane says picking Maria up and holding her tight. "There's no moster in the water to get you. There's no way. You swim with your floaties, anyway. You couldn't possibly go under."

"One day I won't have floaties, though."

"Yes, when you're old enough. Not yet, though."

"I'm five years old," she says looking straight into her mother's eyes.

"So? You're still a very little girl."

"I feel big, though."

Diane really didn't know how to take that comment. There was something eerie in the way she was making a point how old she was and how she wasn't so little anymore. She just tries to brush it off and continues to hug her daughter to her chest.

"Mommy?"

"What, baby?"

"Can I sleep with you, tonight?"

"Well, that's strange," Diane says looking at Maria now. "Usually you wouldn't want to."

"I want to tonight. Just this once please?"

"Okay," Diane finally appeases while planting a kiss on Maria's tear stained cheek. Diane carries her daughter back into her bedroom. Maria falls asleep as soon as her head hits one of her father's pillows. Diane climbs in next to her and rubs her cheeks just like she did when she was a baby. Diane marveled how Maria still smiled in her sleep whenever she did that.

"I love you, baby girl."

**_Author's Note: Get ready for good-bye..._**


	6. What'll I Do?

"Happy Anniversary, Sweetheart," Sam whispered in Diane's ear as she slept. How could she possibly stay asleep when her sexy husband was whispering in her ear and he even remembered their anniversary? Diane leaps up and tackles her husband to the bed. Sam laughs out loud at her spontaneity and gives was going to give her a kiss as Elizabeth began to wail out of her sleep.

"We scared her!" Sam says with a laugh as he goes over to his crying baby girl. "Come here, baby," he says picking her up out of the bed and holding her until she calmed down. "Daddy's sorry."

"I have to nurse her anyway," Diane said looking at the clock and letting loose the buttons on her nightdress.

"Okay," he says to Diane but not keeping his eyes off Elizabeth. "I guess Daddy's not such an idiot after all."

"No, daddy's not an idiot, is he?" Diane asks her baby daughter that was now placed in her arms. That was when Sam gave Diane her kiss with a quick stroke at her breast that made Diane slap his hand (playfully) back. Elizabeth latched onto Diane's nipple while Sam looked on and stroked his daughter's hair.

"Today's going to be another scorcher. Can you believe it? I think I'll take the boys to play outside before it gets too hot," Sam says going to walk out of the room.

"Aren't you tired? You worked all night and then all that driving to come here..."

"I don't know, Diane. I just got energy and hey, Spencer and Ernie are the perfect cures for that!"

"True, true," Diane says with a laugh. "Oh, hey..."

"Hey what?"

"Can you check on Maria? She had a bad dream last night and she slept with me. She must have crawled into her own bed."

"She had a bad dream? My poor girl. Yeah, I'll check."

Sam didn't have time to walk out the door when the phone rang. Diane leaned over the bedstand and picked up the cordless phone.

"Hello?"

"Diane, it's Jennifer from next door," she sounded nervous.

"Hi, Jennifer how are you?"

"Well, I don't know how to tell you this, but you do know Maria's in the water right?"

"What?"

"Bill went out for his morning swim and she was going in. He was keeping an eye on her but she managed to go out too far..."

Diane didn't give Jennifer time to continue. She quickly hung up and got her now sleeping baby back in her bassinet.

"What's up?" Sam never moved from the door.

"Maria's in the water!"

"What?"

"Let's go," she said as she hurried out of the house, pulling her nightdress back up over her shoulders in the process. Sam wasn't far behind her even though he could have swore he never saw her move so fast before. He didn't think her feet even touched the ground. Jennifer met them outside with tears in her eyes. Oh no, Sam and Diane both thought, this is not real. Not their Maria. Not their now blonde curly top with blue eyes like her mother's. No, no, no, no. Not even when Bill pulled Maria's limp body out of the water and handed her to Diane did they believe it.

"She's as cold as ice," Diane said in a quaking voice.

"I'm so sorry," Jennifer managed to say.

"This was her bad dream last night. The monster was in the water and he finally got her. She didn't have her floaties on," her last sentence would be the one who would make the sobs come. "She's five years old."

"Give her to me," Sam finally said. Diane weakly handed Maria to him. When Sam picked her up, he knew that she was gone. He wrapped her arms around his neck. Her legs wouldn't wrap around him like they usually would, but he didn't care. He hummed a tune as he danced her lifeless body around the beach. Diane, Jennifer and Bill looked on as Sam would have his last dance with Maria, singing an old, sad song the whole time. Diane recognized it as "What'll I Do?" She found it heartbreakingly poignant for this one horrific moment. What were they going to do? There was a seagull overhead that was screeching and it brought Diane back down to earth. The bird's wings were flapping and open as the sky itself. Diane silently prayed that Maria's soul was flying high on it's wings and secretly asked the bird to safely deliver her daughter to heaven.


	7. The Lost Boy

The two painful days that led up to Maria's memorial service felt like two hundred years. The boy's missed their sister terribly, especially little Ernie who had not stopped crying since Diane and Sam broke the news to him and Spencer. Of course Spencer was sad and cried the first day but he had the mental toughness to smile again and go on playing. While they both were understanding of their sensitive son, they were immensely proud of Spencer's strong, positive spirit.

"You know, Sam," Diane said in a moment of clarity. "I think Spencer is reacting just as Maria would want him to. She would want him to smile and play again and not sit around feeling sorry for her. I think she would have done the same if it were him."

"Diane," Sam said in a state of despair. "I've already lost one child. I just can't think of losing another one. Believe me, I would feel as devestated if it were Spencer."

"I never said you wouldn't," Diane would reply, shocked by the coldness of his words.

"Yeah," Sam would say while he left the room.

It was disheartening that at this time of all times Sam would turn cold towards her. Did he not think that she was hurting too? Diane may not have had the spiritual connection with Maria that Sam had shared with her, but Diane did love her with all her heart and soul. What she wouldn't do to literally open up her soul to Sam and realize what a huge hole Maria had left. A huge hole that would never be fixed or healed until she and Maria would be reunited together in heaven.

A surprising source of comfort for Diane and the boys came from an unlikely source. **Peter Pan** had come on the t.v. the night before her memorial service. It was Ernie that asked if Maria had become a lost boy. Diane was taken aback by his question but it somehow had made sense. She saw through her children's eyes how Peter Pan would come take these children and bring them to a place where they could remain carefree children forever and never grow up.

"You know, Ernie," Diane said, tapping her son on the shoulder. "I think Maria is in Neverland. I think you may be right."

"I know I'm right," Ernie said, never taking his eyes off the t.v.

"I agree with both of you," Spencer piped up.

They had her memorial service at Cheers. It definitely seemed unconventional seeing as a bar was no place for a child or a child's memory but it made perfect sense for anyone who knew Sam and Diane's children. They were immensely proud of their dad's place and they loved anytime they could visit. Maria especially loved it and always got a kick out of Carla. She would say she was going to have Carla's job when she was old enough. It was recipricol; Carla always got a kick out of Maria.

"She was such a sweet girl," she said while she broke down into Sam's arms.

"Thank you, Carla," Diane said with open arms.

"You're a great mom, whitey," she said genuinely with a hug and a kiss. "Stay strong."

"I'm trying."

Woody; Woody's wife, Kelly; Norm and Cliff were the next ones to offer their heartfelt condolences. Sam and Diane's boys were chasing Carla's youngest kids and Woody and Kelly's daughter, Indiana, around the bar. Elizabeth stayed glued to her mother the whole time. Ever since Maria's death, Elizabeth would cry whenever Sam held her. Diane was the only one Elizabeth allowed to touch her. His daughter's seeming rejection made a brokenhearted Sam even more disgruntled. He had become so hard and bitter towards everyone that even his own baby daughter didn't want him around.

"We're here to honor the memory of Maria Anna Malone," the minister had begun. "To start this service, Diane Malone, Maria's mother, would like to sing a song in dedication to her memory."

Diane got up to sing with Elizabeth still attached to her. She was a little nervous as she got up in front of everyone in silence. She knew her kids loved her singing but this was the first time in years that she sang in a public setting. She picked a song from the musical of **Peter Pan**. It was the song Peter had sung to Wendy, John and Michael just before their first trip to Neverland. There wasn't a dry eye in the house during or after Diane's performance. Her angelic soprano voice hadn't rusted one bit. Through the tears, almost everyone made the effort to smile at Diane, as if that would make any difference to her broken soul because there was one who didn't smile to her, and it was Sam. Sam just stood there with a hard look on his face and his arms crossed. His one act of seeming apathy froze everyone else's empathy. It seemed to Diane that the light couldn't drive out the dark that time. Sam was lost and she, in that moment, realized just how scary it was to think that he might not find his way back to her.


	8. Don't Cry, Daddy

Sam stayed behind after hours at the bar that day. Diane, Elizabeth and the boys had long since gone back to the beach house. His poor boys cried when he found out that daddy wasn't going home with them. Diane had urged him for the sake of the children to come but Sam said he just simply couldn't go back home, he had to be here. He knew his wife and knew that she herself was too distraught to fight with him about it. With weary, sad eyes she packed up the boys and the baby and left. Sam just looked on, never leaving the bar stool that had his back facing the door as soon as his family was out of sight.

What he wouldn't have given to have a drink. He drank water bottle after water bottle, mug of coffee after mug of coffee, and soda after soda. He tried to trick his mind into thinking it was vodka, irish coffee, or rum and coke. His brain wasn't buying it. A real drink hasn't touched his lips since Diane came back to him the first time.

"I loved you that much," he says out loud into his soda glass.

"Sam," came Carla's voice, booming him out of his thoughts. "Why don't you go home? I can close this place up."

"I don't want to go home," Sam confessed.

"Sam," Carla says grabbing her friend's face with her hand. "Your wife and kids need you. Go home."

"What am I going to do when I get there?" He says, finally getting off the stool. "I see Maria everywhere and she's not there. My wife and boys are beside themselves. I don't know what to do or how I should react. I just can't deal with their pain." That was when the tears began to fall from his eyes.

"Sam," Carla says, rubbing his arm.

"Elizabeth," he says, sobbing out loud. "My baby, she doesn't want anything to do with me."

"Come on, that's crazy."

"Ever since the day Maria died, she cries whenever I hold her and it kills me. She only wants Diane. Diane's been so strong and loving through this. I just...I just..."

"Shut down?"

"Yeah. I guess," he says with a deep sigh. "What do I do, Carla?"

"Go home and hug your wife."

"Is it just that simple?"

"I don't think so. But, hey, it's a start. Maybe Elizabeth will start loving you when she sees you loving her mother."

That was when Sam looked at Carla and smiled. Carla smiled back at Sam, simply happy she had gotten through to him. They exchanged kisses on the cheek as he finally headed for home. He hopped in his car and drew in a heavy sigh. It was going to be a long drive home. For the first few minutes, he cried in silence. Cried for Maria, for his family, for himself. Especially the part of him that died when his daughter died. Then, as if on automatic pilot, he turned on the oldies station. He was blown away by the Elvis Presley song that was playing. It was as if Maria was deejaying the radio station or something. Elvis was singing about how he didn't want his father to cry anymore and how he wanted his father to be strong again. He then thought of not only Maria, but his three other children. He didn't really realize until then how much everyone needed him to be strong. If Diane can find the strength to be loving and strong everyday, then so could he. If he couldn't do it for himself at first, then he was going to do it for his angel girl.

"Maria," he says out loud into the night. "I love you and I promise you I won't cry again tonight."

It didn't seem long before he found himself back at the beach house. He pulled up the long, dirt driveway to find his wife sitting on the swing. Her hair was russled up, she had a mug of probably tea in her hand and her blue bathrobe covering her still slim body. God, she never stopped being sexy to Sam. He gets out of the car and struts up the porch to Diane with a smile on his face. Diane was pleasantly shocked by that and smiled back at her husband. Sam picked her up by the shoulders and hugged her tightly to him. Diane hugged him tightly back and cried tears of happiness slightly into his shoulder. He had come back to her.

"I can't believe it," she finally speaks up. "You haven't hugged me in days."

"I know, Sweetheart. I'm sorry I didn't. I'll never let a day go by without hugging you again."

"I'm so happy you came back."

"I'm right here. It's okay."

It really was okay now. Sam and Diane spent much of the night cuddled in each other's arms. Swaying underneath the harvest moon until they saw the first glimmer of golden sunlight.


	9. Isn't She Lovely?

Things were slowly but surely starting to come together after the night of the memorial service. Sam and Diane had become more affectionate and loving toward each other again. Sam had felt terrible about the way he treated her; she did not deserve that. He couldn't believe it was Carla of all people who helped him see how much he was hurting her. He always knew that their was an angel deep down in that devil woman. He had begun to hug and kiss his boys before bed at night again.

"Daddy's sorry," he told each of them as he wrapped his arms around their small bodies.

"It's okay, Dad," Spencer would reassure him.

"I love you, Dad," Ernie would say, always sealed with an extra kiss.

"I love you, too, buddy," Sam would always reply back.

The only really tricky one to come back to him would be Elizabeth. She was only a few weeks old and how the hell was he going to get through to her? It wasn't like he didn't try. It was always at night when she would be sound asleep. He would go to her bassinet, still by his and Diane's bed, and stoke her hair. She seemed to welcome this because she would yawn and let out a pleasant coo out into the night.

"I just wish she would let me love her when she's awake," Sam would say to Diane as he crawled back into bed with a brokenheart.

"She will," Diane would reassure him with an arm rub. "Hey, the boys are going back to school tomorrow."

"I know."

"Well, I usually give Elizabeth a bath after her early morning feeding. Why don't you give her a bath?"

"I don't think she'll let me."

"Sam, you can't be going through the rest of your life tiptoeing around Elizabeth. She's only a baby once, you're missing out."

"I know I am," he says, drawing in a heavy sigh. "Okay, I'll do it."

The next morning came along all too early. Sam woke up to the sound of Diane getting the boys ready. As he listened to the planned chaos from his bedroom, it seemed to Sam that his boys actually were happy to go to school. Poor kids, he thinks to himself, they need a distraction. Life got way too heavy for them. As soon as he heard the car going out of the driveway, he made his move.

"Elizabeth," Sam said, making his way to his daughter. "Daddy's going to give you a bath this morning. Mommy took the boys back to school."

Elizabeth woke up, saw her daddy, and began to wail. Sam was feeling frustrated already. He turned and walked into his bathroom and let the water in the sink fill up with water. Even the sound of the water didn't make Elizabeth's crying and screaming drown out. He got out the Johnson's baby shampoo and soap and then went to go get his daughter. As he reached her crib, Elizabeth's crying stopped. For the next few moments Sam didn't dare move. Elizabeth remained calm, however and this was his sign to go ahead and pick her up and bring her into the bathroom. Sam felt his daughter's tender skin on his for the first time in forever and it felt so good. The warm water felt even better to Elizabeth. She opened up her arms and had a smile on her face as she was surrounded in warmth.

"Does that feel good, sweetheart?" Sam asks as he dollops shampoo into his hands and onto his daughter's tender head.

Elizabeth just let him do what he needed to do. The washing, the rinsing, and the drying. The warm bath was all over too quickly for both of them but Elizabeth just kept being as content as ever in her dad's arms as he carried her over to the changing table. He gently shook the Johnson's baby powder in between her chubby legs and put a fresh diaper over her bum.

"You're a good girl," Sam said picking her up and giving her a kiss on her sweet face. "Wanna listen to some music?"

He couldn't believe he was going to do this, but he walked over the radio and flipped on the oldies station. Just as if Maria just got done with a bath, he was going to do the same with Elizabeth. "Isn't She Lovely" came on the radio and it was as if it were another sign from his deceased daughter. Like it was Maria telling him that it was okay to pass on her legacy to her baby sister. In that moment, Sam realized that they truly were heaven-blessed.

"Elizabeth," Sam softly told his daughter. "I'm so happy I still have a baby girl to love. You are as much of an angel to me as your sister and it killed me that you didn't feel like I loved you. I do love you very much and I will always be here for you and mommy. You both are my girls."

Elizabeth had fallen into a peacful sleep as her daddy danced her around the living room to Stevie Wonder. Sam couldn't wait until she was older and he could hear her squeal with delight as Maria had done. Diane, on the other hand, took in this moment. She had just pulled back into the driveway after dropping the boys off at school and had come in for this. To see her husband and infant daughter reunited in love. Tears flooded her eyes as she saw Sam kiss Elizabeth and disappear from the living room window.


	10. Full Circle

Another week had gone by and it was Halloween again. On the ninth anniversary of Spencer's birth, Diane checked herself into the hospital to get her tubes tied. Their baby-welcoming journey began on a Halloween night and it was going to end on a Halloween night. They had planned this ever since before Elizabeth's birth.

"I'm ready to be done," Diane had told Sam. He could only comply with his wife's wishes. Having four babies so relatively close in age couldn't have been easy on Diane. Though their was question after Maria's death if maybe Diane would change her mind. Nope, she was ready for this to be over.

She thought it stunk that she had to be in the hospital for Spencer's birthday and trick-or-treating. Though it had been a Friday so Diane decided to make the boys play hookie for the day. They had his birthday cake and ice cream for a most unconventional breakfast and they had them dressed in their Halloween costumes all day.

"Best birthday ever, Mom!" Spencer exclaimed as he hugged his mother goodbye.

"Even though I won't be here for trick-or-treating?" Diane asks, hugging him back.

"Who cares? I didn't have to go to school and I had cake for breakfast!"

Diane laughed and smiled all the way to the car. He was such a good boy and couldn't have made her parting more easier. Ernie, on the other hand was nervous, he didn't want to let his mother go.

"It's okay, honey, I'll be back," Diane reassured him with a kiss.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Good luck," Kelly Boyd, the babysitter, had said while hugging Diane.

"Thanks for everything," Diane replied, grateful for all of Kelly's help.

Sam and Diane had driven to the hospital in relative silence. A chapter in their live's was coming to an end and they were bracing themselves. October that had once been the month of wedded bliss and the birth of their firstborn had turned into the month of sorrow over Maria and now surgery.

Sam had kissed Diane as she was wheeled into the operating room and told her he loved her. She told him she loved him too and took a deep breath. Before she knew it she plunged into a deep sleep that seemed to end all too quickly. Sleep was hard to come by for her between the kids and her husband's late nights at work. She was rather quickly wheeled into a recovery room as she listened to the sound of kids outside trick-or-treating. She smiled to herself and closed her eyes. The moment was ruined by a knock on the door.

"The Malone Monster's are here!" Sam exclaimed.

"Oh, no!" Diane exclaimed back in mock horror as the door flung open. Peter Pan (Spencer) and Captain Hook (Ernie) came running up into their mother's bed in total excitement.

"Hey, be careful!" Sam scolds as he walks in with baby Tinkerbell (Elizabeth) in his arms.

"Oh, my beautiful children," she says taking Elizabeth from Sam with one arm and scooping up her boys in the other. Sam and Diane had truly come full circle.


End file.
